


After one and another.

by Silverheart94



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 12:39:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13100301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverheart94/pseuds/Silverheart94
Summary: As Zen released you from his arms, you started to feel lonely again. You were missing his warmth and touch. That longing was lingering into you again. This time, it became worse. You were craving for more attention. But your rational mind stopped you, telling you that this feeling that you were having right now is not serious.





	After one and another.

It was the time of that month again. The feeling of longing and craving for someone is killing you inside all over again. You were able to keep it all inside and went off with it. This time...that longing for affection is seeping into you slowly. The desktop in front of you did not get the proper attention. Your focus for your research paper has long gone. The heavy feeling was making your mind blank although it seemed you were focusing. 

"Hey babe." Said that familiar and kind voice while a pair of his arms were hugging you from back. Because you were sitting down, he placed his arms around your neck, giving you a pleasant warmth with the mix of his fresh-sandalwood scent. 

"Hey Zen." You replied back with a cheery voice to mask your anxiety just now. "Are you busy?" You continued asking. 

"Just stopping by to see my jagi. I'm going to the kitchen to make coffee for me to stay up a bit for practicing my script." He sneakily kissed you at your cheek before started to chuckle. "Do you want a cup of coffee too jagi?" He asked and slowly released his embrace from you. 

"No and thank you Zen. I'm doing fine so far." Zen nodded and walked to the kitchen.

As Zen released you from his arms, you started to feel lonely again. You were missing his warmth and touch. That longing was lingering into you again. This time, it became worse. You were craving for more attention. But your rational mind stopped you, telling you that this feeling that you were having right now is not serious. You could overcome this before but why not now? This feeling was a result from your overthinking self and after this period ended then you will be emotionally stable once more. You kept telling yourself that you are okay and kept replaying it in your mind over and over again. This longing needed to be gone. Being clingy is not a choice for you and not everyone will entertain you because everyone has their own work and problems to be settled. What makes you special than any of them to ask and crave for attention from the other person?   
As you were lost in your mind, Zen had already done his coffee and settled down on a couch nearby for his script practicing. 

His side profile was mesmerizing, the way he was holding his cup and his face expression when he is in his work mode. That serious-looking face never fails to captivate you and making you fall in love again and again. 

But here's the thing. He also has his own problem that needs to be solved. Why do you need to interfere with yours? You did not want to be a burden to him. Yes, you know he would probably set aside his time a bit to console you, but it is not a very solid excuse for you to take his time. These kind of thinking were suffocating you and you knew you have to go somewhere else to calm you down. 

You went into the bathroom with heavy steps. Turning the shower on, letting it soak your body and hair. With all that fatigue, you did not intend to stay in the shower longer. You finished up quickly and climbed on bed real fast after putting on one of Zen's t-shirt. Oh god, how you miss him even though both of you were in the same house. Blame you and your selfish desire to crave for his attention. You were blaming yourself again for this clingy-annoying feeling that made you felt more reason of unworthy to even exist. 

You kept tossing left and right on the bed but your eyes won't shut. The bed felt empty and too much spacious to your liking. It never felt like that if Zen is around. You reached your favourite pillow (which almost made Zen jokingly-jealous of your attachment towards that pillow) and hugged it closely. How you wish it was Zen's pair of strong arms are wrapping you into his embrace now. Again, that kind of thinking was attacking you without any mercy. Half of you want to just go straight to him and beg for him to console you. But in other hand, the sane part of you kept obstructing you with rational thinking and tried to tell yourself that "everything is okay", "This is just a small problem" and "This is just a selfish-annoying-clingy feeling and it will go away soon”. 

You did not know when, but you could feel something warm and soft touched your forehead. Feeling groggy, you saw your favourite person in front of you, staring at you with a worried face. 

"Jagi, who or what made you cry to sleep?" His tone was serious while caressing your cheek, lovingly. 

This is the only person that you don't want him to worry for you. You stumbled with loss of words due of just waking up. 

"No, I'm perfectly fine Hyun." He looked at you with concern. Blame him for having such an observant pair of eyes. You knew that he is always the one who could detect when you are lying to him. Your acting has always been lousy anyway. 

"Perfectly fine with your temperature is higher than usual? With crying stains all over your face? Really Jagi?" His scarlet eyes were looking, piercing you. He moved closer to you and trying to hold both of your shoulders to face him. 

Stubbornly, you did not flinch a bit from where you sat and keep hugging your pillow and covered your face from seeing him with his worried face. You refused to see him that was worrying for you. You did not want him to know and he did not need to know in the first place. 

"Hey babe... You know you can come to me right?”

'Yeah, I know. I'm absolutely okay. Nothing is wrong." You said but still buried your face onto your pillow. 

"Jagi. Please..." He pleaded while tugging your pillow away gently. You resisted and not budging from your place and tighten your grip to your pillow. 

“Babe… You know I won’t budge until you give me an answer right?”

“….” 

Feeling his weight was still on the bed, you slowly peeked from your pillow. He was observing your move and decided to instead of facing you, he pulled you into his lap. Trapping you in his arms while kissing the top of your head. A moment of silence continued until you decided to turn your body facing him. Zen just smiled and pecked your forehead this time. 

“Yes, Jagi. Are you ready to tell me what has been bothering you?” His question was full kindness and concern.

“I… Okay. Just listen to everything that I’m going to say first then it’s up to you to rethink about us because I do think it is important.” you said while fidgeting with your fingers and a shaky voice. 

“I’m listening.” He said with a firm tone while looking at you deeply into your eyes. As if he was trying to search for your soul in there.   
“I feel that I’m being clingy and I’m trying my very best not to. You know, I have been restraining myself from seeking your attention excessively. I want to talk to you about everything but I do know you also have your own thing need to be think about and mine is not that big or important.” You stopped a bit, trying to see his reaction and you were looking at his confused face. But because he promised to listen first, so he kept silence. Giving you the opportunity to let it out first. 

“I do feel unworthy to you and it’s killing me inside. That’s the reason why I’m trying to think with my rational mind but it seems this time, ‘I am okay’ chant does not work anymore which is I am a mess right now. I mean. Why should I even bother you with my problem and stupid overthinking? You have your own and you overcome it perfectly. I feel I don’t deserve to be here at all because I am being a burden to you.”

You didn’t realize your tears were gushing out until Zen pulled you onto his broad chest. “But…I also crave for your attention and touch. Wait, no. I apologize for muttering out all these nonsense.” You said and tried to push yourself away from him.

“I… I’m okay. Please don’t mind me for that. Maybe I overthink too much and it is stupid to think like this.” This time you tried to pull away again but in vain. Zen was quicker. He grabbed your right hand and encircled your waist, making your distance and him closer than before. 

“Do you really think I’m just going to nod and keep silent after all these Jagi?”   
You could feel your cheeks were burning with embarrassment, seeing how close both of you now. “I’m yours remember? Why can’t you feel what I have been feeling for you?” He put his forehead onto yours. “What made you think that you can’t do any of that?”

“But Hyun…”

“No, don’t you dare say my real name. I’m furious Jagi. I love you and I want you to use me.” His tone was serious and you knew he meant every word of it. 

“If you want me, you don’t have to beg. I’m here. I’m here for you love. You are always there for me and let me be there for you too. It’s a concept of give and take. I would not want to be the receiving end only.” 

“Be selfish.” You were shocked with his words and he smirked seeing your reaction. 

“I know you are strong Jagi. Hell, I fallen with you with these strong, determine traits but please, let me indulge you. Unless you are going to say no or everything, I’m not going to stop with my affection that I have been holding on for the whole time.”

“Wait, what?”

“It was hard for my side too. I have to keep myself calm and collected because you look like that. This time, I am going to give it all and I’m not going to stop.” His lips was onto you out of sudden. He stayed onto your lips until you gave him the permission to delve more. Breathless, he moved and kissed your eyes and randomly moved to your jaw and forehead again. It was so sudden that you could not give a proper reaction. 

“What is your wish for tonight love?” he asked after that ‘short’ intense moment. 

“I want to… cuddle with you. I feel restless all day.” You said without looking at his stupid ginning face. You knew your face must be red like crazy right now and his aloof-grin was not helping. God needs to have a hell for him for making that silly face but still dazzling as ever. 

“Gladly Princess. But I do need you to throw away that pillow. You have me. You don’t need that pillow.” He said with a serious tone and a detest look at that pillow of yours. 

“Hyun… Are you seriously jealous with my pillow?”

He darted his look away with a bit of embarrassed look. “Uhm.. yeah. That pillow does not need your love. I do and I deserve for it.” Said Zen and casted that pillow below the bed. 

You pretended to be shocked with his action and he laughed. “Curse you pillow for taking my place in her arms.” He said and lied down while gesturing you to sleep on his right arm. 

You gladly accepted his invitation while pulling a blanket to cover both you. There. That was the warmth you were seeking for and the secured feeling that he gave comforted you down tremendously. Being a big spoon he was, he kissed your forehead again and pulled you closer to him. 

“Thank you Hyun.” You said with a sleepy voice. 

“Good night princess and thank you for telling me.” Another kiss and he also closed his eyes with you.

“Zen?” You called him suddenly. 

“Erm?” 

“You do know I can grab that pillow anytime right?”

“Jagi, no. I’m not letting you off tonight. Mark my word, I’m going to make sure you are not going anywhere and hug you tightly every night.” 

“But there will be sometimes you are not home. What should I hug then if you are not here?”

“Okay, fine. You can hug it. ONLY if I’m not here. I’m making sure that I’m bringing you everywhere so you don’t have to depend on that stupid pillow anymore. 

You chuckled with his response. God, how he can be so cute with this. “Night Hyun.”

“Sleep well Princess. Don’t forget to meet me in your dreams too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy~


End file.
